No, this is not The Onion, this is real life. Unfortunately.

Hot Air’s Ed Morrissey writes:

Great news: University of California to declare itself intolerant of baaaaad feeeeeelz

Next Thursday, the University of California Board of Regents will meet to discuss declaring a new right for students and faculty — the right not to be upset by the speech of others. The proposed “Statement of Principles Against Intolerance” starts off by proclaiming the virtues of “[f]ree expression and the open exchange of ideas” as well as “inclusion and academic freedom.” In the very next paragraph, the statement then says that free speech only works as long as it matches their criteria for “inclusion and academic freedom” (via Newsalert):

The University of California is committed to protecting its bedrock values of respect, inclusion, and academic freedom. Free expression and the open exchange of ideas – principles enshrined in our national and state Constitutions – are part of the University’s fiber. So, too, is tolerance, and University of California students, faculty, and staff must respect the dignity of each person within the UC community.

Intolerance has no place at the University of California. We define intolerance as unwelcome conduct motivated by discrimination against, or hatred toward, other individuals or groups. It may take the form of acts of violence or intimidation, threats, harassment, hate speech, derogatory language reflecting stereotypes or prejudice, or inflammatory or derogatory use of culturally recognized symbols of hate, prejudice, or discrimination.

So much for “freedom of expression.” Acts of violence and intimidation are already crimes, and threats and harassment get handled administratively or criminally on college campuses. The UC regents don’t need to issue this directive to deal with those issues. The point of this is to grant the UC campus administrations the right to regulate speech, and to bar any speech that the regents and administrators don’t like.