Now that the culture of hooking up has become so common place on American college campuses, you’d think people would be mostly concerned with safe sex. A recent talk at UNC however, urged students to make sure they practice smart sex.
BHartness of Carolina Review Daily reports.
Are You Practicing “Smart Sex?”
On Tuesday the Thomas International Center sponsored a talk at UNC by Jennifer Morse titled “Smart Sex: Finding Life-Long Love in a Hook-Up World.” Dr. Morse is the president and founder of the Ruth Institute, an organization that works to promote and defend marriage and the institution of the family on college campuses around the country.
Before getting around to what smart sex is, Dr. Morse spends the first half of her presentation focusing on what she sees as very un-smart and harmful sexual and lifestyle choices that are encouraged and promoted in contemporary America, especially among young people.
She begins with the prevailing notion of a “hook up culture,” where sex is meant to be for recreation, while emotional attachment is discouraged and unnecessary. Dr. Morse argues that the “hook-up culture” often results in women being left emotionally scarred from a supposedly “casual” sexual encounter. This results from a failure to understand that emotional attachment cannot be separated from sex.
Dr. Morse also argues that this culture ultimately harms men as well, pointing to a Washington Post article showing the shocking increase of men under 30 with erectile dysfunction. “There’s something wrong with men under 30 not enjoying sex,” claims Dr. Morse, as case in point as to why the “hook-up culture” and prevailing views concerning sex are out of whack.
In regards to cohabitation, Dr. Morse points out that many people wish to “try out” a partner before getting married, but couples who cohabitate before marriage actually have lower quality relationships and are more likely to get divorced. The “try it before you buy it” method may apply to buying a car, Dr. Morse says, but not to a relationship with a human being.
Dr. Morse also addresses what she sees as two very disturbing trends concerning having children. The first is the idea of planning children around one’s career, education and other major priorities. Dr. Morse says that when she had children, having to turn away from her professional life to raise them significantly ultimately led her to be such a strong and devoted advocate of family and marriage. She says that “this experience proved to me how much moms and dads do for their children.”
Next, Dr. Morse addresses the “single mothers by choice” scenario. Regarding artificial insemination, Morse argues that a woman is from day one making a lifelong decision for the child—that it will not know its father. Although this unfortunate situation usually arises by accident or neglect, in these cases the mothers are actually intentionally choosing this outcome.
In other instances, Dr. Morse says women can agree to a “no commitment” policy on behalf of the male partner either before or after the pregnancy. Dr. Morse argues that often in these cases “the two partners will end up having a lifelong relationship anyway, in court.” This is because either women begin to demand the father be a part of the child’s life at least via child support, or fathers demand to be a part of the life which they created. In either scenario, the outcomes are not good for no parties, especially children.
So, what exactly is “smart sex?” Dr. Morse says that “smart sex consists of a recognition of two basic reasons for sex. The first is for procreation, while the second is for spousal unity.”
The former is obvious, but Morse says takes the opportunity to point out how drastically the times have changed, saying that “when the sex revolution started, we thought it would be fun because we could have sex without babies. This has now devolved to where we have babies without sex. It seems more fun the old fashioned way.”
Read the rest at the link below.