We will certainly have a rape epidemic when everything is considered a form of sexual assault.

The College Fix reports.

Public university could punish neck rubs as sexual battery under new policy

East Carolina University students who are good at neck rubs could find themselves hauled before a sexual misconduct board under new rules approved by the board of trustees.

The new policy describes sexual battery as “the intentional or attempted sexual touching of another person’s clothed or unclothed body, including but not limited to the mouth, neck, buttocks, anus, genitalia, or breast, by another with any part of the body or any object in a sexual manner without their consent.”

The school described updates to nondiscrimination and Title IX policies in a press release dated Dec. 18, the same day as winter commencement.

Though it’s labeled “ECU News Services,” the release is nowhere to be found from the news portal. The school’s only apparent public communication of the changes appears to have been four days later on Twitter.

According to the release, the trustees approved the new policies Nov. 20. They took effect Friday. The school doesn’t say why it waited almost a month to announce the changes, after classes had ended.