As only Ann Coulter can.

The College Rape Club

Sorry this column is late. I got raped again on the way home. Twice. I should clarify — by “raped,” I mean that two seductive Barry White songs came on the radio, which, according to the University of Virginia, constitutes rape.

TAKE BACK THE NIGHT!

Even the feminist-whipped media parted company with Rolling Stone magazine over Sabrina Rubin Erdely’s story about an alleged fraternity gang-rape at the University of Virginia — since retracted.

But while dismantling every part of this preposterous rape claim by a woman Rolling Stone calls “Jackie,” journalists rush to assure us that “sexual assault at colleges and universities is indeed a serious problem,” as an article in Slate put it.

It would be as if Republicans responded to the apocryphal attack on McCain volunteer Ashley Todd in 2008 by saying, “Physical assaults on McCain volunteers by Obama supporters are indeed a serious problem.”

If we’re in the middle of a college-rape epidemic, why do all the cases liberals promote keep turning out to be hoaxes? Maybe I’m overthinking this, but wouldn’t a real rape be more persuasive?

Instead, all the hair-on-fire college rape stories have been scams: the Duke lacrosse team’s gang-rape of a stripper; Lena Dunham’s rape by Oberlin College’s “resident Republican,” Barry; and Rolling Stone’s fraternity gang-rape at UVA. Two of the three were foisted on the public — and disproved in public — only in the last few weeks.