The minimum wage debate is a tough topic for conservatives and libertarians to argue, because no matter how many facts, economic models, and philosophical arguments we make, we’re almost always privileged in some way or another, thereby completely discrediting anything we say.

Ok, so we just have to try harder. But one thing we don’t do is ridicule to the extant that this Kitchenette Jezebel excuse-of-a-writer C.A. Pinkham ridiculed Steven Gillard, a writer for the Daily Collegian at the University of Massachusetts.

College Kid Writes Dumbest Possible Op-Ed on Fast Food Wage Strikes

Ah, college. A time for experimentation, a time to gain wisdom, a time for all of the drugs. A time to write an unbelievably dumb screed that literally says the poors are lazy and should be grateful for the scraps that fall off the tables of the American aristocracy.

At least, that’s what college is like for Steven Gillard of the UMass Daily Collegian. Steven, you see, wrote a screed about the recent fast food wage protests, and oh boy, is it a fun one. Ordinarily I wouldn’t take the time to respond to an op-ed, least of all one from a child, but this piece is so mind-breakingly dumb that we really need to give it our full attention.

Let’s do that, shall we?

In recent months, protests staged by fast food workers across the country have gained national attention. Fast food workers claim minimum wage — as low as $7.25 an hour in some states — is not sufficient enough to make a living and support a family. Moreover, they assert that employees of fast food giants such as McDonalds, a multi-billion dollar industry, should not be scraping by while executives rake in profit.

On Thursday, Sept. 4, protests took place in about 150 cities nationwide. Nine people were arrested in Boston for blocking traffic while protesting their low wages and demanding $15 an hour.

“How dare they commit the heinous crime of blocking traffic over something so trivial as their ability to feed their family?! SUCH UNCOUTH BEHAVIOR FROM THE UNWASHED PROLETARIAT!” *pops monocle*

There’s plenty more of this, which I admittedly didn’t read to the end in order to preserve brain cells. Warning, there is profanity in Pinkham’s piece.