It looks like one student will soon be getting a real education.

Among all the reports being released about Americans being dumped from health plans they like and have had from years, and televised examples of reporters’ troubles with the Obamacare website, University of Arizona literature and history student Erik Shell asserts that the American media is not covering the program’s successes.

My indignation stems from the fact that the media is taking us for chumps — prehistoric cavemen who are frightened and scared about the big, mysterious “Internet.” They have taken our most valuable contribution to world history and dressed it up for Halloween as a faceless screen that denies you access to health care.

They do this, of course, because people buy it. Somehow, in 2013, people still have this inane notion that by plugging words into a search bar, the entire world can cascade before them in a beautiful sea of blue links that take them wherever they want to go, where the stores of Internet industry are always open and waiting for them with a smile.

But the Internet doesn’t work that way. In fact, anyone who has ever done a last-minute bid on eBay or played an online game can tell you exactly how that feels. Is it because the big, bad Internet doesn’t like you? No, the logistical back end of your server is just having a hard time, and it protected itself accordingly.

How is this not expected? Yes, they hired too many people to do this job. Any information technology professional knows that more bodies does not mean more productivity; it regularly means more confusion.

But they built a single website that was supposed to service the entire country. The law had been hyped for years since being passed, most recently receiving free press by the far-right health haters who tried to shut it down. Obviously, hundreds of thousands are going to try to fit into this store, and the doorway in can only hold so many at a time.

What isn’t being talked about is the success others are having when they get frozen out of the site. There’s this older invention, just as revolutionary in its time, called the telephone. Dial a number on the screen, and soon enough you’ll be rolling in that sweet health care honey. Others have done it successfully, yet all we hear about is the big iron door that has been set in our way.

The media has its uses, not least of which is my employment in a part of it. What it cannot be, however, is a perpetual Dr. Frankenstein, constantly piecing together scary things into one big monster, showing it to the American people and saying, “Why aren’t you scared yet?