As 2013 begins, many Americans are considering major life changes.

College of the Desert student Elissa Roberson mulls over a substantial one in The College Conservative.

I have decided I’m going to convert. That’s right, Liberal-Progressive Democrats have persuaded me after I had a near-death experience. There I was, rolling down the highway riding shotgun with my Daddy driving his gas-guzzling, environment-killing F-350 Dually pick-up and listening to Rush Limbaugh shuffle papers with his formally nicotine-stained hands over the radio while discussing conservative policy, when a Prius pulled out in front of us.

That’s when I saw it: A large blue bumper sticker with the words “coexist” written using religious symbols for letters. My entire politically-active collegiate career flashed before my eyes and it dawned on me: Being conservative went out of style even before meat-clothed Lady Gaga ever walked down the Red Carpet.

Once I hit high school it was all about thinking on my own and “life skills” that would help get me a job. After all, why not just let the government provide my healthcare, education, and give me food stamps since Obama is going to make sure I’m taken care of anyway?

Roberson considers the standard educational care,  Hollywood hypocrisy, and “extracurricular activities” such as Occupy Wall Street. Then she comes to a very sensible conclusion:

Finally, it came to me: I, as a Hispanic female, have been oppressed after all these years due to racism and sexism in America that has been present since the founding of this country. Even though quietly now, racism is routinely being pushed aside by media circuits such as Fox News. Racism aside, being a female in America today is tough enough since men want to keep us in the kitchen and away from the male-dominated work force. Just ask Sandra Fluke, Code Pink, and other feminist groups.

These visions suddenly cleared as the sound of brakes abruptly awoke me from my stupor and I realized my dad’s driving saved us from a collision. I looked out my passenger-side window as we drove past to see the female Prius owner texting while driving (which is technically illegal in the State of California). As I watch the female in the Prius quickly speed up to 20 mph above the speed limit and drive off into the distance I realize being liberal would require me to tie one half of my brain behind my back. It was an interesting experience, and I learned to be thankful for conservative principles. Call me arrogant, but at least I have my human dignity.

 


 
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